Candles

(Jake: 30 May 2003)

It’s not me, the world’s gone crazy. It’s my birthday today and I suspect that if candles are involved it would create a health hazard. Heh, Heh. Last night was fun but a dismal failure so far as casual sex was concerned. Four of us ended up going to Bar 22. I know… I know… but everywhere else was closing. The bouncer wouldn’t let us in because Jonti was too pissed. Too pissed to go into Bar 22 – for fuck’s sake, what the hell is the world coming to?

I had a good chat with Mum today. She’s a top lass and does part with golden nuggets of information now and again. I like the smell of her hair. It reminds me of being little. Alice bear came round too. It’s all been arranged for tonight. I’m not sure exactly sure what we’re doing or where we’re going but I’m looking forward to indulging in rough sexual congress with a nameless, painted harlot. Hot dang mumma, I’m coming home in a box

Spinning a yarn

(Jake: 28 May 2003)

It's a small world – I bumped into Nathan on the train last night. We had a bit a laugh actually, but it does unsettle me slightly that he’s fucked my sister. I know somebody had to do it at some point but he was the guy who took her cherry. He was Panda’s ‘first love’ and she was hung up on him for ages after he dumped her. I didn’t tell him she was gay these days.

It always throws me when people call her Alice. With great drunken enthusiasm, I told him the story of when she came home from school with two black eyes. He seemed vaguely interested and told me an equally exaggerated story of when he fell off a shed roof and broke his collarbone. Evidently, one of his mates had dared him to break into a deserted house up the road and have a sniff around. It turns out that the old lady who used to live there had gone completely mad and was dragged out in a straight-jacket a few years earlier. He reckons that the house was completely untouched – there was even food still laid on the table, covered in cobwebs. He was mooching around upstairs, heard some weird voices, bricked it and tried to get out of an upstairs window onto the shed. The twat fell off and had to go to hospital. We talked about drugs then.

Anyway, I went into work today and finished the article and sorted out a few other things. Pretty uneventful day on the whole really. I may have a quick look at Tabitha in my Buttman magazine in a minute.

Freefall

(Jake: 25 May 2003)

As per usual I’ve done fuck all with my free time. My afternoon ‘drink’ turned into several and then, by the early evening, it seemed entirely necessary for Jonti to score cheap pills off some bloke in the toilets.

Anvil on my lungs. I’ve cained all my pot and got a cold and sweaty feeling. I’ve not slept properly yet but had a strange waking dream.

It was monochrome and silent.
I was travelling on a train.
The interior was luminous white: tables, seats, fittings, everything.
A dark city looped past outside
in a cartoon-background-kind-of fashion –
deranged animals chase after each other with axes.
A woman slid in and sat opposite me.
She was looking over her shoulder and was trying to tell me something.
No sounds came out of her mouth.
An inspector appeared and she FREAKED.
It suddenly dawned on me that it was Lauren.
She was tired and older
but, still the beautiful green eyes.
The inspector dragged her away by her hair as she kicked and screamed.

It was all a bit fucked up really.
I’ve just looked in the mirror. My cheeks are rosy and I can’t stop licking my puffy lips. Surely it must be time for another toss? The phone seems to ring constantly but I can’t face any interaction today. Panda and Mum left messages.

Cat

(Jake: 24 May 2003)

Cat Deeley is a naughty little blonde minx. Annoying? Yes. But she’s dirty. I caught a bit of CD:UK this morning and I’m convinced that the sparkly-eyed host is an animal in bed. Should she ever ask for my hand in marriage, I would have to gracefully accept. However, in the pre-nuptials I would insist that one of her A&R friends would give me a multi-million pound record deal as part of the agreement. Oh yeah, and that I could put her over my knee and smack her bare bottom whenever I fancied – and in public, should the need arise. She might go for it.

The sun’s shining right into my balcony this morning. It’s lovely and very life-affirming. I’ve had a dodgy rocksteady vinyl on at full whack this morning; a bargain at 50p from Help the Aged. Panda rang – she says that there’s a new girl started in her office who I would really like: dark, beautiful, intelligent, GSOH etc etc. I do love my sis but she gets on my tits sometimes. Shame she’s not mates with the Cat though.

Just going out with Nathan for a couple of cheeky looseners at the Potter’s.