Freefall

(Jake: 25 May 2003)

As per usual I’ve done fuck all with my free time. My afternoon ‘drink’ turned into several and then, by the early evening, it seemed entirely necessary for Jonti to score cheap pills off some bloke in the toilets.

Anvil on my lungs. I’ve cained all my pot and got a cold and sweaty feeling. I’ve not slept properly yet but had a strange waking dream.

It was monochrome and silent.
I was travelling on a train.
The interior was luminous white: tables, seats, fittings, everything.
A dark city looped past outside
in a cartoon-background-kind-of fashion –
deranged animals chase after each other with axes.
A woman slid in and sat opposite me.
She was looking over her shoulder and was trying to tell me something.
No sounds came out of her mouth.
An inspector appeared and she FREAKED.
It suddenly dawned on me that it was Lauren.
She was tired and older
but, still the beautiful green eyes.
The inspector dragged her away by her hair as she kicked and screamed.

It was all a bit fucked up really.
I’ve just looked in the mirror. My cheeks are rosy and I can’t stop licking my puffy lips. Surely it must be time for another toss? The phone seems to ring constantly but I can’t face any interaction today. Panda and Mum left messages.