Butterfly
(Jake: 23 May 2003)
I am now officially leaving the jam jar. I took the last tablet exactly 14 days ago. Do two weeks constitute an adequate reality/fog buffer zone? It may all be a touch melodramatic actually. In truth, I’m not sure I notice a whole lot of difference at the moment – apart from the odd electric shiver and the fact that I am experiencing the most painfully rampant sex drive since my teens.
Having unsuccessfully managed to decide what I wanted for dinner tonight, I’ve spent some three hours systematically smoking gear and cracking off over some dog-eared porn that I keep hidden away for just such emergencies. The need was so great that I ransacked the orderly little piles of papers and knicknacks in the loft and, in the process, discovered some forgotten pictures of me and Lauren.
After my sex fury had finally subsided I spent some time going through the holiday snaps. Lauren and I had booked a last minute thing two years ago. She looked so beautiful. I so fucked it up. I think I still miss her.
At this point I really should really try and do something constructive. Perhaps I could finish off that fucking song. No doubt I’ll spend the last hour or so drinking, and jotting down mindless buzzwords or drawing grotesque pictures of cocks in one of my special books. Chin up, it’s the weekend. It’s not all bad – I could be you.
I am now officially leaving the jam jar. I took the last tablet exactly 14 days ago. Do two weeks constitute an adequate reality/fog buffer zone? It may all be a touch melodramatic actually. In truth, I’m not sure I notice a whole lot of difference at the moment – apart from the odd electric shiver and the fact that I am experiencing the most painfully rampant sex drive since my teens.
Having unsuccessfully managed to decide what I wanted for dinner tonight, I’ve spent some three hours systematically smoking gear and cracking off over some dog-eared porn that I keep hidden away for just such emergencies. The need was so great that I ransacked the orderly little piles of papers and knicknacks in the loft and, in the process, discovered some forgotten pictures of me and Lauren.
After my sex fury had finally subsided I spent some time going through the holiday snaps. Lauren and I had booked a last minute thing two years ago. She looked so beautiful. I so fucked it up. I think I still miss her.
At this point I really should really try and do something constructive. Perhaps I could finish off that fucking song. No doubt I’ll spend the last hour or so drinking, and jotting down mindless buzzwords or drawing grotesque pictures of cocks in one of my special books. Chin up, it’s the weekend. It’s not all bad – I could be you.
posted by Jake at 1:34 pm
1 Comments:
I have found what few other human mortals on this playing field have yet to discover: a Way Home, past this violence and materialism that has so engulfed, so enveloped our populace on this journey to our demise. Because you’re ignorant on how to rise above the whorizontal world and one-outta-one shall croak sometime, somewhere soon, God has set-up this magnificent feature on the Way either Upstairs or downtown: the Warning. Everyone (me, too) living on this planet will see and feel the Warning lasting about 20ish minutes, showing U.S. a gorgeous picture of Heaven, Purgatory (depending whether our sins demand a greater punishment before being allowed into the Great Beyond), and dagnasty Hell. Remember, God doesn’t condemn; we condemn ourselves by our sinful lifestyles of unbelief. The Warning’s just a wake-up call. Don’t believe me? Guhroovy. You will soon. God bless you with discernment: atheism is cool, isn't it, till you croak...
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